everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Houston, we have a squirter
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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