i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
