I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
