Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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