Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
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