what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
