I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
