I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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