and she was petting her beer can
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
