Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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