I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
