oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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