Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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