just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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