Already got asked if we're dating
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
