UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
