i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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