Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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