I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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