rhymes with "ouble enetration"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
