Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I don't deserve a penis
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
