It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
