I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
