I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just sucked dick on a ferry
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
