I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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