i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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