I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
