Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
