i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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