Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
