I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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