so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
