pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
