Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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