I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
