When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
