im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
