Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It's rum buckets o'clock
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
