went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
