tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
