How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
