have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
