Soap is not a condiment
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize