Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
