Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm like, not good at living.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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