My brain says no but my pants say off.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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