Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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