It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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