Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
