Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
