At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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