She announced her abortion via fbk
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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