Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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