Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So vagazzling was a success
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize