Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
