You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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