Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
